I'm once again strung out on books. For every one I'm returning to the library, I'm picking up two more. Bad habits. Bad habits. I'm almost finished with A Year of Biblical Womanhood and my shaking fists and eye rolls have subsided some since cracking it open. However, I'm entirely burnt out on this backwards memoir concept: writer pitches experience to publisher; publisher gives a green light and throws some lettuce her way; and writer works tirelessly convincing us the fabricated journey means something genuine. Since I can't answer the question How else could Evans capture our attention for the content she delivers?, I'll cut her some slack.
Sometime last week I slid into a black hole of fatigue. Somewhere in between putting the milk in the cabinet and applying facial cleanser after my foundation was in place, it dawned on me that the epic loss of sleep caught up with my body, hacked its way through any reserves I had stored, and raised its crazy flag. And there it goes that I decided to break my streak of constant tandem nursing for a nighttime party of one baby nursing on me at all times so I could feign some sleep and poorly track milk output. This past week I went on a tandem nursing vacation, choosing instead the one hundred million times easier solo nursing sessions. As a consequence for my freedom loving chest, my house, my appearance, my schedule and my sanity disintegrated bit by bit into complete oblivion. Sigh. Back to tandem nursing. It's complicated. You don't need to worry yourselves with the details unless you're a twin mommy. And if you aren't, you are so very, very lucky to only nurse one. Just trust me on this, me and a whole chorus of twin mommies who've been there and done that and lived to tell the tale of their house crumbling to complete loss.
I swear I dress the kid. I really do.
Some notable tidbits from his rendition of the children's Bible (not pictured) he read to the babies (of which I've never read to him --- yes, mommy of the year, always):
[Genesis story] "See here the Earth was not yet completely formed and the moon was not completely formed." Okay, sounds pretty good.
[The Flood] "And here Santa has all the animals get on the big boat." Oh. Okay. We're a little off there, bud.
[Exodus out of Egypt] "And the people had all the water they could want!" Oh boy. I have totally failed the kid.
We've been tweaking some of our discipline here. I mean, those twins are just tyrants. Um, no. Thomas tries his hand at evil here and there. I found him digging toe nail clippers into my deodorant a couple days ago. I reprimanded him. His response, amidst the most dramatic of cries and flails, "You're.... ruining my heart. You're ruining my heart, Mommy."
I was reworking my "mother's rule" this morning. I really should explain or link that to an explanation but I'm just going to keep typing and roll with my laziness.... Anywho, I was adding a list of weekly cleaning tasks to my what is basically a glorified schedule, there I did it, and sought a list in my handy dandy homekeeping book which I nearly hug every time I pick it up. I typed the suggested list into my document but laughed when I reached wash out and sanitize garbage cans. Yeah, I'm not doing that every week. If you do, please spare me the humiliation.
Paul and I had "no tech time" on the couch last night so we could talk, talk, talk because he just begged me to. Lies. I'm the chatty Cathy, but you probably knew that already. If your relationship is just overflowing with time to talk void of distractions, I applaud you. I'm married to a man who's practically salivating at the chance to become half man, half robot, a manbot and I've taken to posting one billion baby photos to Facebook and Twitter and Instagram so there's that too. We could use a few more moments without a screen in such close proximity buzzing or beeping or lighting up. Do you have screen rules at your house? I would love to hear about them!
I've been mulling over some thoughts about what my time with Thomas should like like, what resources I have to teach him, what values I would like to instill and so forth. While I'm figuring it all out, I've started with the basics. Child labor. The kid does laundry. That should make up for the eye make-up remover I wasn't able to retrieve from the toilet last week. Speed up kid. This laundry waits for no one.