Thomas Talks


Does this post even need an introduction? No.

Enjoy.

Happy Tuesday.

A very very happy, mega-happy Tuesday!

: : :

Asks me what he can buy for me. I mention make-up, books, and coffee.

T: “You should get a stuffed animal. You don’t have enough of those!”

Me: “Well, yeah, hmm.  Adults don’t usually have stuffed animals.”


T: [cheerfully] “You have 1 stuffed animal, your pink bear….[long pause]...nah, you don’t have any stuffed animals. I’ve taken over that bear.”

: : :

T: [yells] “Get inside my brain so you can know my skills for…. [with the flare of a magician] french toast and maaaaaaaath! [jazz hands]

: : :

After gazing longingly at Jesus's picture in the hallway...

T: "If Jesus lived after dying on the cross, why didn't he become a zombie?"

Me: "Wow. We have a lot of work to do on your religious education."

T: "What?"

Me: "Good question."

: : :

T: "Mom, I GOTTA tell you something!

Me: "What's that?"

T: "You are mega-pretty."

Don't buy it. He had just watched some show with Megatron in it.

: : :

Thomas was running errands with Paul when he hurt his leg and yelled

“My fricken leg!”

Paul: “Woah, why did you yell that?”

Thomas: “That’s what you yell when you hurt something on your body. My fricken heaaaad. My fricken armmmm. My fricken legggggg.”

: : :

Thomas is moving my Rosary beads on my phone when he looks up and sees this picture & exclaims:

"Hey, this guy's checking out a magazine!"


I’m cleaning the kitchen & Thomas spots an ant

T: “Okay, stop what you’re doing and stand really really still.”

Me: “Why?”

T: “Ants think that humans are going to smush them & kill them. That’s their fear.”

Me: “Okay….”

T: “So we are going to stand very, very still so that he is not afraid.”

A minute later…

T: “Oh, I think he is looking for sweets for his ant children….His ant children live here. We just can’t see them right now.”

Five minutes later…

T: “Oh, I know what’s going on here. [Looking at the floor]. Someone must have left a trail for these ants to come to the kitchen. I think it goes to right over there by our cabinet, that cabinet we keep b
eers in, our beer cabinet. Yeah. They definitely live under that beer cabinet over there.”

Nope, not your pants. Definitely not your pants. 

: : :

I walk into the bathroom to find Thomas putting band-aids on his stuffed shark.

Me: "Woah. What's going on in here?"

Thomas: "Sharky was goofing off on top of a mountain and fell off and hurt himself."


: : : : : : : : :

xoxox,
Ash

p.s. send prayers